Tuesday, July 14, 2009

"In the Bloggess-Style"

Hey. So question. Have you ever been to thebloggess.com to read Jenny the Bloggess' lovely rants and comments on life? If not... why the hell not? She's awesome and funny and just as deathly sarcastic as I am. I think I want to marry her, except for the fact that she's already married to Victor and I kind of want to marry a man, too, with the whole being gay thing and all.

So, one of her posts talks about writing in "the Bloggess-style." I figured I'd try it out today, but I don't think it's too, too different from my own. Anyhow... let's see.

HOLY FUCKBALLS, Y'ALL! Today I was woken up after only having slept for eight hours by my mom who said, "Aunt C needs you downstairs." So now my brain starts ringing an alarm and I'm going, "YAY I CAN GO SEE THE BABY AND HOLD THE BABY BECAUSE THE BABY IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO LOVES ME ANYMORE!" So I run downstaits in my pajamas looking all kinds of haggard and my aunt tells me she wants. help. cleaning. Sorry, what?! So I slept for eight hours and then got to help clean the house for three because this is my life, and there's nothing I can do about it anymore even though it sucks sometimes and I hate it.

On the bright side, though, I did get to hold the baby and rock the baby and sing to the baby. Who loves me. And never cries when I hold him except for today because he was really hungry. But other than that, he's an awesome little bundle of joy and maybe one day I'll send a picture of him to Jenny so she can write about him in her mommy blog because I think it would be pretty awesome if she billed him as a wrestling midget or a one-month old alcoholic or something.

BUT ANYHOW. Go to her blogs. Read them. Laugh. Cry. Rinse. Repeat.


  1. "Holy fuckballs" is my new favorite phrase. You are a golden god.

  2. I heart Jenny the Bloggess. Like seriously. I'd hump her good, but instead I will settle for humping my laptop as I read her posts.

  3. out of all my comments ever the one i will remember the most is "i celebrate your boobies my friend" courtesy of the Bloggess.

    i might be a sorry bag o' fan-erific stalker, but noone has ever made me snort lemon loaf out my nose while sitting at my desk.

    except for jenny.


    p.s. marriage is overrated. just have random sex and live with your parents. they'll never let you down like a mate will.